Audrey Hepburn

It would have been Audrey Hepburn's 86th birthday today

I thought I'd look great in cigarette pants and a turtleneck.

I definitely don't. I'm willing to bet you don't either.

I thought I'd be able to pull off large sunglasses.

Source: Jurow-Shepherd Production
I look like a bug when I wear anything remotely as fabulous as the sunglasses she has on. Don't even get me started with how I look when casually wearing tiaras.

I thought I would fall in love in the most dramatic and cinematic of ways.

A few years ago I had a boyfriend who kissed me in the rain and I ruined the moment by squealing, "You're kissing me IN THE RAIN!" and then he recoiled in annoyance. Needless to say, we're no longer together.

I thought my eyebrows would look amazing as an adult.

Source: Getty Images
My high-school self would be sad to know that, even ten years later, my eyebrows are sparse, blonde, and sad.

I thought when I grew up my hair would look fabulous.

I'm still waiting for the day I'll be able to pull off super-short bangs and look great doing so. I tried side-swept bangs in college and even they were a disaster.

I thought I'd be able to have cool pets as an adult.

Audrey had Pippin the deer. I'm not even allowed to have a dog in my apartment building. 

I thought people would find my relationship with my cat charming.

They don't. Neither does George Peppard in this scene, by the way. I think I just missed that fact when I watched this movie as a teenager.

I thought I'd be able to live in a cute Manhattan apartment.

Source: Jurow-Shepherd Production
Holly Golightly's apartment in Breakfast at Tiffany's was listed in 2011 for $5.85 million. You know who has that much money? Not me. Definitely not me.

I thought all of my quirks would be romantically endearing to every person I date.

Quirks are endearing until the third date or so. Unless you look like Audrey Hepburn, that is, and you also have characters scripted to find you amazingly tragically complicated and beautiful no matter what you do.